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15 September 2011

Laws I would Enact...

First of all, I would never run for public office.  Mostly because I don't think I have the right temperament for it (bullshit and assholes piss me off, and that's all congress seems to be made of).  Also, as an atheist, I am pretty much totally unelectable...  I know, it's a sad truth that somehow I am in America's most hated group (even though having served, I am also in one of the more trusted/respected groups...).  Anyway, I do think that there are several laws that need to be passed (some of these are only half hearted jokes, but some of them I am serious about):
  • Between the time the President's Budget is submitted, and Congress approves it, they shall not gather any pay, nor shall any pay be retroactively awarded.  This no-pay period cannot be bypassed through legislation to increase Congressional salaries.
  • All discretionary or supplemental riders to the President's submitted budget plan must be budget neutral through either cutting of  another program or an appropriate tax increase.
  • No Congressional salary increases shall take effect until after all legislators who voted on the bill have left office.
  • The Debt Ceiling shall be eliminated.  Instead, prior to passing any federal budget, if expenditures are greater than income, a statement shall be read and acknowledged by all members stating that they are also approving the required debt ceiling to pass this budget (that this should even need to be a law is incredibly silly, but this past August showed that it is apparently required...).
  • When Congress authorizes any deceleration of war, there will be an automatically enacted "War Tax" which will cover the expected expenses beyond the currently approved DoD budget.  Any military action taken by the President as Commander in Chief shall also enact a "War Tax" as to be budgetary neutral.
  • Term Limits!
  • Tort reform.
  • Campaign finance reform.
Some sillier laws that I wish would be practical:
  • Since a corporation is considered a person for purposes of campaign contributions, it shall be treated as a person for applicability to all other laws as well.  Much like you can't leave behind your hands or feet when you go somewhere, if any one individual of a corporation is subject to other laws, penalties, or restrictions, so shall ALL members of the corporation be equally subject to those laws.  (In other words, someone gets busted for a DUI or something, everyone in the corporation faces the penalties...  Hey, the corporation is a person, right?)
  • If you wholly deny evolution, then you are only allowed access to medical technology as it existed prior to 1859.  If you are convinced that evolution is somehow guided by something supernatural, then you are allowed medical technology as it stood in 1953. 
  • If you are a climate change denialist, you will be invited to move to Texas, Arizona, or Nevada and provided a free house sans air conditioning (okay this is the silliest one, but seriously how can one deny climate change in this day and age?  (See this comic for my take on it even if you are anti-reality, why you should support cleaning up our act.)
  • If you feel that any laws that protect the air, our food, product safety, etc. are a bad idea, a new chain of stores will be opened where you can buy products that have never been inspected.
Anyway, if you can think of more, maybe we should copy/paste this list and send it to our currently bought (I mean elected) politicians?

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