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29 May 2010

Are you a Theitard?

I tend to use the term "theitard" quite a bit. It's a derisive term (and it's meant to be!), but how do you know if you are a theitard? Hopefully this entry will clear it up.


First to the easy ones. If you are a Young Earth Creationist, and accept every word of the bible as the literal truth, then you are a theitard. No bones about it. Your adherence to Bronze Age myths is so far removed form reality that I really can't say anything kind about your mental ability. You have compartmentalized reality so much that you are in strict denial of nearly every scientific advance since the Renaissance! You are mentally castrated, and for all intents a brainless zombie.


If you are a deist, that thinks that a "god" set the whole universe off 13.4 billion years ago, and has just let it go from that point, totally removed from our universe, then you are probably NOT a theitard. I really can't say much about that point of view aside from a critique that your first cause argument seems rather complex compared to what we know about physics, and surely a much simpler explanation exists.


It's all the stuff in between that is harder to label. I figured I'd go a little Jeff Foxworthy on you, and just list all the things that will make you a theitard (and add an accompanying list of things that pull you away from being a theitard).


You just might be a theitard if:
-  You think the US is a christian nation (instead of a nation of christians, all despite Article 11 of the Treaty of Tripoli of 1797)
-  You think the US is founded on christian principles (hint:  It's not, and even violates biblical dictates)
-  You think (or know) that the founding fathers were devout christians (you probably wouldn't be able to recognize their beliefs in today's context)
-  You cannot understand why people would get upset at a prayer, but you become apoplectic should anyone suggest you adhere to a muslim tradition.
-  You think that anyone who has the audacity to criticize your religion is hateful and intolerant, but your belief system condemns anyone who does not follow it to eternal torture.
-  You strictly uphold one law in Leviticus, but ignore all the rest, just because gays are "icky" and you need someone to discriminate since the 13th Amendment.
-  You go to Fundies Say The Darnedest Things, and can't understand the humour of the site.
-  You actually think Conservipedia and Fox News are somehow mainstream and at all truthful.
-  You think your opinion on something thereby makes it a fact.
-  You think that belief in evolution led to the holocaust or that Hitler was an atheist.
-  You think that religion is required for moral behaviour, despite the fact that more secular societies are better off overall.

Okay, my daughter wants to go out for some Ice Cream, so I will stop here for now.  I will probably come back to this entry from time to time to add to it.  And of course, I would love to hear your thoughts on it.  I know I only spent a couple minutes on this, and it could go on forever.

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